Love & Hate, such a fine line
by MrsToddx
Summary: Mrs lovett and benjamen had a drunken fling, but why did the judge get besotted with lucy in the first place. My point of veiw on what else could have happened the days before ben got arrested but also what happened after. Im really rubbish at these thing
1. Chapter 1

Blood

Blood. The smell of the crimson liquid poured down the stairs, filling the air. It was late and no one but Nellie Lovett could smell the sweet liquid. She was stood in the doorway to her pie shop waiting. That's when she heard it the scream of his dear Lucy, vile thoughts of the stupid women flashed through her mind to fast for her to register, it was a usual occurrence when she saw or heard the women, but this time it was panic that restricted Mrs. Lovett from dwelling on the nasty thoughts for Benjamin Barkers dear wife.

She'd seen the elaborately dressed men walk with purpose up those stairs about half an hour ago, whilst she was finishing cleaning for the day and instead of going to bed she had waited to see what they wanted. Her curiosity would kill her one day she was sure. But still half an hour later she was stood in the doorway, straining her ears to hear what these men wanted. She had only heard the odd muffled shout and of course Lucy's cries and screams but she was sure that those men were not here on a friendly visit. The judge. It was the only explanation, she had seen him peering on Benjamin's sweet wife for weeks now, and she had the unfortunate past to now what the judge was capable of doing, to get what he wanted. As she stood there thinking further into this horrific memory, it wrapped itself around her so she forgot where she was, until the bell of the barber shop chimed violently and the smell of blood was replaced with the shouts of men and the screams of a women in distress.

She jolted out of her thoughts to see Benjamin wrestling with two of the elaborately dressed men, as they tried in vain to get him down the stairs. It took a lot of effort for Mrs Lovett to not start crying and screaming like Lucy was doing. Instead she composed herself and stood at full height at the bottom of the stairs. She took a deep breath before engaging the men.

"Can I ask dear sirs why you are wrestling with my tenant on my property?"

The third man that was not clinging onto one of Benjamin's arms answered her,

"He's being arrested"

"At this time? On what charges?"

"Foolishness, now let us pass"

Mrs Lovett didn't now what to say, what type of charge was that, they couldn't arrest someone for that could they. But she saw nothing she could to help her love and so she stepped aside, as the men pulled Mr Benjamin Barker into a carriage parked over the road. Nellie could do nothing but watch the poor man be battered and pulled to his fate.

Lucy collapsed on the bottom stair sobbing into her dress, Mrs Lovett was secretly enjoying her misery but still she felt compelled to comfort her. She sat besides her, putting her hand on her shoulder whispering words of comfort in her ear, but none seemed to help. It was only now she could hear the baby crying upstairs. She left the distraught women to tend to the now fatherless child.

She was stood baby in arms softly singing to it. When Lucy finally made it up the stairs. She fell into the barbers chair, exhausted. Mrs Lovett placed the baby back in the cot and knelt next to the women that looked like death. It was the only way she could describe it.

"Lucy what happened?"

In between sobs Lucy tried to explain Benjamin's innocents but still didn't tell her why. Mrs Lovett knew that Lucy secretly knew it was her fault, her beauty her innocence had called to a man that she couldn't possibly control and his greed, his lust had got her lover arrested and Nellie Lovett hated her for this, nearly as much as Lucy hated Nellie for her and Benjamin's supposedly secret antics. Nellie had to go and visit him. Anger boiled in her stomach and she turned swiftly leaving the room and the now broken family.


	2. Chapter 2

Nellie Lovett, walked swiftly through the streets, head down looking at no one

Nellie Lovett, walked swiftly through the streets, head down looking at no one. She had to get there before they sentenced him, that's if he had a trail at all. The loud cries of people in distress and pain wafted through the streets, she knew she was nearly there. She slided through the small door, nearly bumping into the guards table. It looked so dark in this building; you could smell death it swirled around the dim lit corridors, mixing with the screams of the murderous and the innocents.

She lent over the table to talk to the guard on duty, she surprisingly knew him from years ago, she knew quite a lot of men from back then. She put a few shillings in his hand and he let her through the corridor not without saying a couple of crude remarks before hand but still she was being let in. This black hole of a building could only be described as hell on earth, there was little light and a disgusting smells. Hands' trying to grab at her dress and screams for help but she ignored them. There was only one man she'd come to see.

And there he sat in the corner of his damp, dirty cell. She whispered "Ben", he lifted his head up "Lucy" he said in a voice that sounded nothing like him. Nellie's anger came up from the pit of her stomach and rested in her neck but she controlled it she again used the whispered, sweet voice.

"No Ben its Nellie"

"Oh"

Is that all he could say she come to talk to him yet he didn't care. Without thinking she hit the cold steel bars. They shook violently, the sound echoing through the corridor. Benjamin looked up shocked.

"Nellie what do you want"

The words stabbed at her like one of his treasured razors. She wanted to scream at him, hit and smack what she felt into him but she knew would be no use so she took a deep breath to calm this monster inside her.

"I thought ya'd wanna see me, explain ta me why ya've been arrested; I thought ya cared for me"

Her brain screamed at her telling her what she just said was ludicrous, like he'd care, he had a wife and a child, would he not want them here, but her own selfishness stopped her from telling Lucy to come, instead she did, she had to see him.. But she knew she had to say it, she'd never see him again.

"Nellie that was one night, one drunken night, I wont apologise, ya should of realised it wasn't anyfing". He looked at her his eyes piercing hers. "It meant nothing Mrs Lovett"

She could feel the tears pierce her eyes but she blinked them back. She stood staring at him. Her mind was now in this memory that had been relived so many times.

Benjamin Barker. She'd been thinking about him when he crawled through her pie shop door, angry and drunk, so very drunk. She'd sat him down. She couldn't help but stare into his deep brown eyes, though they were so dark, they were caring eyes, puppy dog eyes. But this time is it wasn't just her staring into his he was staring back. He was enhanced by the hazel colour, he compared them to his wife's blue eyes they were perfect. Like her appearance never a fault. And now this woman with hazel eyes and crazy red hair sat beside him, stroking his face trying to calm him. She wasn't perfect, but she was, her imperfections made her seem irresistible. He couldn't help himself. He kissed her and to his surprise she kissed back with much enthusiasm. "Your husband" he'd managed to mutter between kisses. "Out" she'd whispered looking at him, those hazel eyes crawling his body along with her hands. Then of course one thing had led to another.

Mrs Lovett's mind had been screaming with happiness at last he felt the same way as she did. But in the morning he's disappeared even before she had woken. She had wanted him to be there watching her sleep but she brought thoughts forward given him reasons why he must of left. She knew he felt the same, he had to else he wouldn't have… No she couldn't think he didn't like her it would kill her so she cherished the thoughts and the moment.

She got up and made breakfast, she could hear the argument going on upstairs; she remembered she'd never asked why he was so angry, and this annoyed her, why were he and Lucy always arguing though she enjoyed it she would have loved to have known why.

Arthur Lovett then strolled heavily into the pie shop, shouting at her in his deep voice. He broke up her thoughts. She looked at him, anger in his eyes. The smell of alcohol unlike Ben last night, Arthur stanch she didn't want to go near him. He was drunk… again. She felt the hand against her face before she saw it. Again and again it hit her; she tried to block it out the memory of Benjamin barker swimming through her mind. But for once it was real and it worked.

She spat it out before she even realised what she'd said,

"Like Lucy and the Judge meant nothing"

This sentence again rang through the corridors but this time it seemed like the screaming had stopped, the banging on the bars had stopped it was the quietist place in London at that very minute.

A flash of anger went through Barkers eyes. Mrs Lovett put her hand to her mouth. She was surprised at how calmly he'd responded.

"Don't talk about things you know nothing about"

Though she knew everything about it, it had been the talk of the town the day after her and Benjamin's little thing. Lucy and the judge. It had turned out that Lucy had fuelled the judge's lust and this was the reason her Ben was in prison now and the reason for alls those arguments, Lucy said she'd done it for money and Ben had called her a whore, she'd said it wasn't like that, that's Ben had walked out. It had seemed that ban had told the whole pub in his drunkenness and Mrs. Lovett knew a lot of women who liked to gossip.

"You're a fool Benjamin Barker"

And with that she got up of the stool she'd been sat on and left. Tears pouring down her cheeks.


	3. Chapter 3

Lucy was at up in the barber shop, she violently wiped the tears from her face

Lucy was at up in the barber shop, she violently wiped the tears from her face. This wasn't her fault, she'd done it to help them, and she never thought, he'd take it seriously, she loved Ben. He was her everything. Now he must think she didn't want him, that she wanted that repulsive judge instead, of course she didn't want that disgusting specimen of a man. She'd done it for them. She started to pace up and down the small room, willing Joanna not to start crying she couldn't deal with her at the moment. Her greed had broken up her family. She wanted to hit something, scream in that witches face, but she'd done nothing wrong. Had she? There'd been rumours but they couldn't be true, Ben wouldn't. He wouldn't do that to her, he's had nothing to gain from that crazy looking women.

Suddenly the door flew open. There stood her petite landlady, dress covered in flour like always. New bruises on her face. Her husband must be back from his business trip, Lucy thought. She stood staring at her for a while. Mrs Lovett was willing herself to speak. She wiped her hands on her dress before walking into the small room.

"Any news?"

It had been a week since Benjamin had been arrested and Lucy had heard nothing of the trail or what the judge intended to with him. She hadn't seen the judge since the night before he'd had her husband arrested.

"Nothing… Nellie?"

"Yes Lucy"

"Do you know?"

"Course I know Lucy the 'hole bloody street knows, yar a silly women if I ever did see one"

Nellie said this with cruelness like she'd intended. She saw Lucy gasp at the fact that she was gossip. Lucy was always perfect; there'd never been anything to gossip about. The two women stood facing each other, wondering what the other was thinking.

"I did it for us"

"Keep telling yaself tha' love, it might just come true"

Nellie saw the tears in the women's eyes but she wasn't about to comfort her, she'd brought this on herself. It was her fault.

"Rents due next week"

Mrs Lovett knew she wouldn't be able to pay it, but she wasn't about to let her off, Arthur would surely kill her if she didn't come back with it. She'd let them this family of before when Ben's business had just begun and she'd felt what her husband was truly capable of then.

Lucy nearly fell to her knees, but she upheld her dignity, just.

"But you know I can't pay, we have nothing now"

Mrs Lovett looked around the room. Looked at the jewellery on the side,

"Then you're just going to have to sell something then"

And with that Nellie Lovett left the room, feeling satisfied that she'd made Lucy's life hell for about a week. A small smile graced her lips. It disappeared as soon as she was back in her pie shop. Her husband stood there staring at her.

Lucy fell back into the barbers chair once more. It was her fault everything was her fault, and now she'd end up homeless. Her only option was to visit the judge.

Benjamin barker had been in this cell for nearly a week now. He'd got accustomed to the screams and cries of the other in mates learnt to shut them out when needed. But he was so hungry, he would not eat the food he gave him, it wasn't right, it was old and would no doubt make him sick and Ben felt hunger would feel nicer than sickness. Depression had taken a hold of his body, his wife had not come to see him, even though it was her fault he was here. How could he have been so stupid, she had kept coming home with little gifts and he had never asked her about them. He trusted her. He had asked a couple of times, but each time she'd ignore him or say she found it. He believed her. He couldn't believe how stupid he's been. Love had made him blind to what she was doing to him. He'd found out when he'd gone out to find her.

It had been late and he'd begun to get worried. He'd walked out on the porch and couldn't see her. He'd paced around the room for what felt like hours until he had to go and find her. So he bundled Joanna into her pram and walked through the dirty streets to the park. Lucy loved the park. She said it was a spot of happiness in a place of gloom. He could see why the green of the park always looked out of place to the blackness of the streets around it. Sure enough he spotted her blonde air swirling in the wind. He'd been about to shout her when he'd seen who she was with. Judge Turpin. He was playing with her hair and stroking her arm. Like lovers. He wanted to run over there and kill him in the most viscous way possible. It was then he first thought of his treasured razors as weapons. But he spun on his heels marching back to there little room. And he waited for her to get back. That was the day his heart broke in two.

He sat remembering seeing them together. Tears pierced his eyes. But he dare not cry in case he couldn't stop. Instead he willed Lucy to come and see him explain herself. What had he done to deserve this?


	4. Chapter 4

Lucy stood arms wrapped around her, facing the judges front door

Lucy stood arms wrapped around herself, facing the judge's front door. A rather petite maid opened it. Bowing her head slightly before saying "He's in his study Miss" and with that she left. Lucy scuttled up the stairs. It was wrong she thought she knew where the Judge's study was. She had a terrible feeling that this was all wrong.

He sat there his back to her. Writing. She stood up tall and entered, standing directly behind his chair.

"Judge Turpin Sir?"

He spun round. "My dearest Lucy I'd now that sweet voice anywhere". His smile made her feel sick. He stood up, his hands reaching for her waist. She stepped back. "There is no point in playing hard to get my dear, I can have you now". His eyes searched her body, "in more ways than one". He smiled again, reaching for her waist once more. She slapped his hands away. "Judge Turpin, I want my… I want my husband back" She spat the words her anger boiling. The judges laugh filled the room, it sounded evil like a child imagines a witch would sound. He was shouting now, a hint of anger came through in every hurtful, word though he was disguising it as playful. "You want that useless excuse for a man back, after all you told me about him. I think not dear Lucy, You told me things he needs to be arrested for, a few months I was going to put him away enough time for us to lets say have some fun, but now my Lucy… now I believe he's heading for Australia". That laugh again pierced the air. "You can't…it's not" She couldn't finish what it she wished to say. She didn't now what she wanted to say. Instead she let her tears fall, turned her on her heels and stormed out of the room. Out of that house.

Nellie sat in her bedroom, a damp cloth to her face. She'd done something wrong, she still wasn't sure what but it had made Arthur mad, after he'd done what was needed, he'd stalked of to the pub. This she was glad for, it gave her time to clean herself up and left her to her thoughts. She heard the door bang upstairs knew Lucy had come back, not that she'd heard her leave. Nellies thoughts again drifted to that night. And a smirk pierced her lips as she remembered the arguing, how unhappy there marriage was.

Lucy sat in her room, cradling Joanna. Tears streamed her cheeks daily now, but still she could not face Benjamin she could not admit to him what she'd done she was a coward that she knew. Nellie didn't speak to her, if she saw her. Lucy felt incredibly isolated. The beadle called on her daily. Pervert. Never forgetting to mention the judge and how her husband was doing. Offering her deals for his help, that she would never take. As it would only make her hate herself even more. So she sat daily in her small room and had waited for the date of her dear husbands trail, It had come round fast enough. Tomorrow was the day she'd find out what she had done to her love.

The morning of the trail, Mrs Lovett was determined to go and as luck would have it Arthur had fallen Ill and was sleeping a lot lately; this made Nellie's life a hell of a lot easier. She chose a black dress, with red lace so it did not seem that she was mourning. And she sat in her shop waiting for Quarter to ten when she would set of to the old bailey. She'd heard Lucy shuffling about upstairs and wondered if she'd be going.

Lucy was wearing black, her hair was greasy and she looked terrible. She knew she did, but she couldn't be bothered, she had no one to try and look nice for. She dawned a hat and stepped outside, she breathed in a breath of fresh air, it made her stomach churn more, as she walked towards the old bailey.

Mrs Lovett soon followed. They sat either ends of the court room. Benjamin stood in a cage. Two police men next to him. He looked worst then Lucy, his eyes were black from tiredness and his clothes were dirty and the smell from him drifted across the room. Nellie had to stifle a gag. They rose as Judge Turpin walked in.

Nellie closed her eyes as judge Turpin started to speak. Lucy looked at Ben, willing him to look at her, but he wouldn't. He couldn't. He was ashamed of his wife and hated her for what she'd done to him. Judge Turpins words boomed across the room.

"Benjamin Barker you are being charged with theft and assaulting a police officer, How do you plead?"

"Not guilty" Bens whisper of a voice hardly circulated the courtroom. Lucy strained to hear what he'd said.

"Not guilty Huhh" the judge gave a small chuckle.

"I find you guilty of these offences and others." And with that he winked at Lucy, the whole courtroom turned to stare at her, she put her head in her hands and weeped. Benjamin didn't even bother to look at her, he didn't need to, she'd probably be blowing him a kiss back or just lapping up the attention. She always loved attention. He clinched his fists, and bit his lip until he felt the warmth of his blood trickle down his chin.

Mrs Lovett sat appalled at the judge but was anxious to hear the sentence.

"I find you guilty and therefore sentence you to…"He left a dramatic pause never taking his eyes of Lucy.

"Serve 15 years of hard labour in Australia"

Mrs lovetts gasp could be heard, just over the scream that came from Lucy. Both women broke down crying.

With that the judge stood and left the room smiling to himself.

_There's properly a few punctuation mistakes in this I'm sorry and I know it's a bit short but the rest of the story will be longer I promise!! Review please food may be given )_


	5. Chapter 5

Mrs Lovett sat cradling a bottle to her chest, as she remembered memories forged to make her feel better, her and Ben sat near the sea, the smell of salt swimming round them as they kissed, walking across the beach hand in hand

Mrs Lovett sat cradling a bottle to her chest, as she remembered memories forged to make her feel better, her and Ben sat near the sea, the smell of salt swimming round them as they kissed, walking across the beach hand in hand. These weren't real memories. No. but they kept her sane. It had been two weeks since Ben had been taken away and she was still stuck in this awful depression. These fake memories running through her mind, she just wished they were real, yet she could only imagine the happiness she'd have felt and could only pretend she knew what the sea smelt like. And it was then as she took another swig of gin that she realised, her fairytale would never come true. She would be stuck with Albert in this god forsaken place, with nothing but a reputation of having the worst pies in London to comfort her. Not know Ben had gone he was her comfort he was her saviour, even if she couldn't have him. But not once did she think he didn't want her. She tried to forget those hurtful comments he'd made when she'd visited him, when they did force there way into her conscience, she dismissed them as fake dwelling instead on the image of the sea. However she was doing a lot better than Lucy. Nellie hadn't seen her in a week, not that she cared. It was her fault.

The cries of Johanna hit Nellie once more, they brought tears to her eyes, was Lucy not caring for her, this was the fifth time the baby had cried in an hour. Mrs Lovett could not stand her mother, but she would not let a child suffer, all because her mother was a fool. She placed the gin bottle on the side table, as she made her way upstairs.

She didn't bother to knock; she was greeted with crying baby, she picked her up singing sweetly to her, whilst she looked around the small room. Lucy wasn't there. Where the hell had she got to Nellie thought, stupid women leaving a baby all alone? She sat in the seat near the window, comforting the child. She soon heard the sobs of a distressed women which she was sure was Lucy.

Lucy gasped in shock, as she was greeted with a look of hate from the petite women. She stood sternly cradling her child.

"What the 'ell where ya finking leaving ya poor baby on 'er own" As she said this she stroked the baby's head, concern in her eyes.

"I was only out for a minute, had to get something, she was fine wasn't she"

Mrs Lovett just looked at her for amount, not knowing what to think.

"If she was fine do you think I would of come up hear. Poor kid as been screaming her out for ova an hour" She didn't look down at the baby this time, she kept her gaze on Lucy.

"Ad ta gets sumat" was all she said.

"Wha' was so important ya left ya babe on its own for?" With that Nellie made a dive for the brown paper bag, Lucy was holding, she tried to pull away but Nellie was to quick she soon had it in her hand. She placed the now sleeping jahnna in her cot. She slowly opened the bag, Expecting to see alcohol, she was wrong, she pulled out the small glass bottle.

"Arsenic" She shrieked, "wha' were ya planning on doin with this ay" Mrs Lovett was sure she already knew, but wanted to hear it come from Lucy's mouth.

"Get rid of the pain" she mumbeled it under her breath but Nellie caught it and knew exactly what she meant.

"ya was gonna kill yaself, leave ya child all alone, are ya that much of a coward ay, cant stand yar own foolishness?" She struggled to keep her anger in check, she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Lucy could only nod. "Ya didn't love him as much as ya say did then, ya get him in trouble then go and kill yaself nice and neat like" With a thumb she placed the bottle on the side.

"Go for it" she almost laughed, like she would, Lucy didn't have the guts to kill herself, not at all.

A few hours later, Mrs. Lovett found herself sinking into the depths of her mattress, Albert was away for the week, and she loved not having his sweaty body lying next to her. As closed her eyes, hoping for thoughts of a better life, instead she started swelling on her earlier conversation with Lucy. She couldn't help thinking she may have done the wrong thing.

Lucy found herself pacing the room, ignoring the cries from Johanna, the baby had soon realised that she would not get attention and settled down to sleep. Leaving Lucy to think of what to do. She made herself a cup of tea, looking at it, the steam pouring of it, she couldn't think anymore, she knew what she wanted. The pain to stop. She grabbed the bottle from where Nellie had left it, she poured the liquid into the tea. Not sure how much would work, she emptied the contents into the cup. Taking a deep breath, she took a sip. Her vision began to blurry, as she drank deeper, the heat of the tea warming her insides. Soon she could see nothing and limps felt heavy and weak.

Mrs Lovett was pulled out of her thoughts by a small crash, that seemed to echo through the house , soon followed by the cries of a baby.

_Hoped you liked it, it's a bit longer. And no I don't have a clue how arsenic works so I just made it up ) Hope it sounds okay though. Review!!_


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